What was ……
A few years ago, when things were really rough in my marriage I asked my husband what he liked about me. It wasn’t a long list, and he included in it that he liked talking with me about my work. I found his response hurtful and it made me angry. I didn’t want someone who only found me interesting because of my job.
I am not great at asking my husband for help. I grew up with brothers, worked in a male dominated field and I realised a few years ago that one of my life mantras was ‘I’ve got to be better than the boys’. With an outlook like that it was always going to be hard to let my husband take care of me, or help me with things.
What is …….
Today my husband came home from a few days working away, and after we’d caught up, I said:
‘I need your help’.
I wanted to talk about my work with him. I wanted his insight and advice.
As we sat and talked I marvelled at the fact that we could have that conversation.
I am taking hold of what is.
And ‘what is’ is a relationship where we talk about everything and we share our lives completely. I know that this man will never think less of me for being exactly who I am, and that he loves me so much he wants to help me live the best life I can in any way that he can.
Today I was so grateful that I didn’t throw all of this away. I am so glad that we worked hard and found that we can give each other what we need and be fully ourselves.
We could not be more different but our marriage is ‘what is’.