This morning at church the preacher focused on King David. We had a chat show style intro and then a psalm was used to look at David’s relationship with God.
The tricky topic of David’s adultery with Bathsheba, and subsequent killing of her husband came up in the chat show interview. It made me flinch a little inside. How do you explain that one King David?
The person playing King David, explained that he’d done something very wrong, for which he’d subsequently repented, and that God had forgiven him,and allowed him to learn from that episode in his life. I felt my heart harden a little.
I don’t know if you are at all like me, but even though I’ve reached a place of believing that God forgives me when I repent, I am not always very accepting of the fact that he forgives other people too. If you’ve read my blog(s) you’ll know that there is one particular individual who I have struggled to forgive, and I find it really hard to believe that it is really God’s desire for that person to have maintained a place of christian leadership. I’ve felt like that is a wrong which needs to be made right, and that I have a part to play in doing that. Recently it’s felt like God might be wanting me to leave that idea behind.
So I didn’t really like King David’s answer very much.
Is it really that simple? I wondered if David apologised to Bathsheba for deciding to take her for himself and kill her first husband ? I wonder did she forgive him ? How did she feel about God forgiving David and allowing him to continue to lead and prosper?
And then I realised that I can’t know and I won’t know, but what I do know is this: I have been promised God’s grace. I have received God’s grace.
I need to take hold of it and know that its relevance or power in my life is not in any way linked to God’s gifting of it to others. There is enough for everyone, and it is not for me to decide who gets it and how much they are given. And if God wants to do outrageously generous things for other people, that see them lifted up then it is not for me to try to pull them down.
So today: I’m taking hold of God’s grace, and in order to do so I am (trying) to let go of the sense of self righteous bitterness I still hold.
I’m remembering that I have all that I need, and that God loves me no more or less than he loved King David, or he loves the person who wronged me. If I am loved it doesn’t mean that they aren’t loved, or vice versa. I’m releasing my grip on unforgiveness and instead taking hold of grace.
This is part of a series for the last 50 days of 2016: 50 days of Taking Hold.
I hope that it will encourage both me and you to live out this year intentionally and with our eyes fixed on Jesus.
My verses for the year:
1 Timothy 6 : 17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.