Day 13: Tangible hope

The last post finished with me telling God that I needed Him to show up. I needed to know that I was loved, liked and understood. I needed real. I needed visible. My knowledge of  the truth of ‘God loves me’ needed to move from a head knowledge to knowing in the depth of my being that I was loved.

In my relationship with the other I had felt known, understood and loved. That was what had pulled me in.  Whether reality or just my perception, I didn’t at that time feel that in my marriage. So I was wanting God to show me that He loved me. All of me. The contradictions and the character flaws. The passions and the peculiarities.

I was prepared to wait.

I didn’t have to wait long. Less than two weeks after I’d written about surviving and waiting for God to show up He did. In a more extraordinary way than I could have expected.

I  had chosen the word Hope for the year .  On a very bleak morning I walked my dog in the rain, crying as I walked. I wrote:

“My word for the year is Hope. I’m holding on to it with my head today, but my heart has quite different ideas. I am feeling sad and hurt and angry and hopeless; and frustrated that I am feeling sad and hurt and angry and hopeless.”

I returned home and didn’t know what to do next. I started to wonder what other people did in these situations. I thought of people in the bible who stuffed up and had hard times and didn’t know what to do. David always comes to my mind when I think of failing humans who God loved. I wondered if he re-read the Psalms he’d written on days when he felt hopeful? I looked for things to encourage myself with. I found a photo of grains of sand under a microscope and was struck by the thought that the God who created and knew about individual grains of sand, knew me.  I wrote this:

” if my Hope is not linked to people, or circumstances but to this God, then I will make it through another day.”

A few hours later I checked the post and I’d received a parcel from the other side of the world. I opened it and this is what I found….. a necklace with the word Hope on it and this note.


‘You don’t know me. I’m simply a messenger with a gift. Take heart, dear sister. The Lord is near to the broken hearted. He heals them and binds up their wounds. Love hopes always. A fellow sojourner in Christ.’

I stood with a smile on my face and tears pouring down my face. It had been posted 11 days previously on the other side of the world, by someone who didn’t even know me. It had arrived on the lowest morning I’d experienced in a few weeks. I texted a friend and she suggested I go outside to see if ‘I love you, love God’ was spray painted on the front wall of my house.  I was overwhelmed. I received Hope to hold in my hand. To wear round my neck every day. God used a sister in Christ to show me how much I was known and loved and understood. Gifts are my love language. She didn’t know that. God did.

Lights in the darkness.



37 thoughts on “Day 13: Tangible hope

  1. I love this… God is so about showing up for us and loving us through every circumstance! (And I happen to own quite a few of those Krafty Kash necklaces… love them! Visiting from our 31Dayers fb group! So glad I stopped by!


  2. I really like that line ” if my Hope is not linked to people, or circumstances but to this God, then I will make it through another day.” and how amazing is that package! Incredible story!


  3. Beautiful! What an amazing gift! God does have a way of surprising us, doesn’t he? That necklace is a powerful tangible gift of hope. I’ll bet when you wear it, it reminds you of your word “hope.” I love receiving gifts like that too. Loved this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. God’s timing never ceases to amaze me. Some times, I do random things because I feel like God wants me to do them–I can’t wait to get to heaven to see how all of the pieces of the puzzle fit together!


  5. Amazing. I wish these kind of God encounters happened more often. As one who can relate so very well with your journey, I sure could do with a sign like the one you were given!


    1. Hi Anon, so glad you’ve found your way here. I will hold on to hope for you – I am praying right now that you are given some tangible signs of God’s extraordinary love for you in these next days. hope to see you again.


  6. Hello, it’s me again (runwpatience) 🙂 I began following your journey when in a very painful, broken place over a break-up. It’s been two years and your story still encourages my heart. I’m over the guy but am turning 33 this year (have always been single) and am struggle with my forever singleness. I feel like I’m only getting older and dying inside, tired of waiting and missing the joy and life that Jesus is. I know He’s enough and He renews me inside, but living in that belief and reality, living the belief that He loves me is a different story. Today I began reading through your 31 days and it gives me hope, just reminding me that He does care. Thank you for sharing your story and loving Jesus more ❤


    1. Anna it’s good to hear from you. I’ve wondered how you’ve been getting on. I’m sorry life is feeling so hard. I needed to remind myself of the realities of God’s love again – that’s why I’ve republished the series and read them all myself. I have lost the intimacy with God I had, maybe because I’ve not been depending on Him in the same way, and I want it back. much love to you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s